Just call me the Blog Detective. Nah, actually, that’s kinda nerdy. How about, Tech Junior, Private Eye. Yeah, that’s heaps better.
Introducing the Case Of The Smashed Barbie Doll CD Player. [Cue amateurish and unhelpful graphic]
I was approached (virtually) late one Saturday morn with the details of the case:
Street Debris
Studying the back story, I spoke to some local urchins about the word on the street. Unfortunately, nothing of worth came to light in these inquiries.
It was not until this very evening when I had a breakthrough. It seems someone seemingly linked to the mystery has given herself up.
And I quote:
“How fucking forking ANNOYING is it when you find a broken Barbie Karaoke tape deck pink plastic piece of shit sham under your futon fold out bed the week AFTER hard rubbish collection and now its all big and hulking on the floor and you don’t know how to throw it out?”
Please note, the language was cleaned up to respect my high class readers’ sensibilities.
I think there is enough here to hand it over to Scotland Yard.
Congratulations on the sluething. It’s definitely a victimless crime though – more a win/win situation.
One Pink Barbie Karaoke unit down, too many to go.
Hahahah! Oh, what an amusing coincidence. And I love the way you’ve censored my elegant language. Bless. Why do you disbelieve my ownership of a futon, though? It’s a real one, damn you, and it doesn’t ‘fold-out’ or nothin’! ‘Fold-out’ makes me sound like it’s 1991 and I am having a sleepover party with my little girlfriends so we can watch ‘Trasformers’ and eat marshmallows. (mmm. Marshmallows *hungry*)
Sadly though, the damn thing remains upended on on my bedroom floor. Maybe I should take inspiration from this post and just throw it over the front fence and see what happens.
PS – Awesome photoshopping!
Kevin – I wonder if they play anything other than Video Hits compilation CDs?
Jelly – Wait – you got the girls together and watched… Transformers (that is, if I have correctly interpreted another of your typo blunders)??? Are you a boy or something? And who gathered for sleepovers just to watch Transformers? That is morning television!! Sleepovers are for episodes of Tottie Goldsmith’s Sex/Life! If you do throw the hunk of audio shite over the fence, please take a photo for me. I’m starting a collection of photos of broken Barbie CD players.
Looks like a job for Hercule Poirot (Miss Jane Marple just doesn’t understand anything electric at all.) If M. Poirot cannot handle the investigation, then you might try the London office of the PCU (Peculiar Crimes Unit) as they handle the really unusual crimes that Scotland Yard won’t or can’t handle.