April 29, 2007

Patterned Nausea

We are currently in the sixth house we have built and lived in. In fact, for most of my life we have been building. At the moment my parents are doing the usual dance before their next build; Looking at homes to buy under the pretense that if they find anything cheaper and better than building, they’ll buy it (which never happens).

This morning we woke up early to check out a house that was scarily across the road from our second built house. The house had not really been lived in for years, and was built around the time we had built our first few homes.

Opening the door was like breaking open a time capsule of my life. The inside was pink. Not pink as in “I’ve got colour and I’m not afraid to use it” like today, but pink as in “maybe if I just make everything hospital pink no one will notice”. Throw out your colour wheels; This was the age of federation interior design where one colour rules supreme.

Walking through the house there were old intercoms, 486 computers, dot matrix printers, more VHS machines than I’ve seen in my life, a dolby pro logic system and (oh, the horror) a shelf of store-bought video cassettes.

The bathroom. Grab a bucket, think I’m gunna spew. You see, federation bathroom tiles of the early to mid-nineties only came in one variety. They had large cream (not just off-white) octagons with the federation colour of your choice (dark green, maroon or light blue) tessellated squares in the middle (think this, on every surface of a small confined area). Having the cold, maroon pattern under my toes, I was rushed back to a time when I handled far too many of those plates as a child. Prestrung together in pattern with a fiberous white netting on the underside, I would flip through trays and trays of them in the showroom, trying to listen to other customer’s conversations and just generally misspending my youth while my parents made the actual decisions.

Discussing in the car afterwards I tried to explain what was so upsetting about the house, the best I could do was say “But you have to live in that!”

Thankfully, my parents gave me free reign with my current bathroom, so I can have a shower without getting a headache.

Responses

  1. Troy says:

    Tyson! I haven’t been on here for so long. I’ve been too busy to look @ anything online really….myspace is the exception.

    We are currently looking for a house to move in to aswell…driving me mental!

    have fun

  2. Kevin says:

    What was it with pink? My old house was also painted pink and had various shades of brown carpet throughout. Not spewable, but offputting indeed.

  3. Tyson says:

    Troy – Moving house is no fun. It’s much better when you just move everything inside it instead.

    Kevin – Maybe it was done when the men were off at war and the women were left in charge. There’s nothing like a fresh coat of paint to overcome serious economic depression.

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