I saw a girl on Oprah today (as I was eating lunch, shuddup), who was a beautiful model but was convinced she was hideous when she looked into the mirror.
Later, as I was sitting at the hairdresser’s chatting to Rachael about those wasted Paula Abdul interview videos on YouTube and the kids in the next room who were hitting each other constantly, I looked into the mirror and saw me in forty years. The lighting in that place isn’t flattering at the best of times, but today I looked positively deathly. I blame most of that on the four hours of sleep I got last night which seems to be my bed’s revenge for being publically humiliated.
A few moments later, another hairdresser turned around to the kids who were hitting each other with their thongs at this point and yelled, “Hey! I’m the only slapper in here!”
Oh, well. Some people have the smarts.
… And because this post isn’t quite humiliating enough yet, here’s me right after my four hours of sleep.
and here I am, post haircut, doing my best Guy Blank impersonation.
Nice do Tyson
What a spunk! That pic is getting saved in my flick files.
Troy – Thanks! It might make me look more butch… I didn’t get bashed when I passed a few kids today.
Steph – I don’t even want to question the implication of the word “flick” in that sentence.
Okay, two things that should never be done together – Oprah and lunch. The consequences could be dire.
What hair did you get cut? I can’t tell the difference. Who is Guy Blank?
Kevin – I like a dose of Oprah over lunch, particularly when she’s doing her “This is a lightbulb moment. My entire life from now on in will be completely different” bit. As for the hair, it was a bad shot. Lots and lots cut off. I was told it was heavily textured. Uh huh. Guy Blank is Jerri Blank’s father in the TV Show/Movie Strangers with Candy. He is a fully active member of society (until ravaged by dogs), but he’s on camera, he’s always frozen in a pose with his mouth open and hands clawed.
Oprah is fine at all timeslots.
I thought the fox draped over your head look was in… Nice bran by the way!
Oprah in the middle of the day? During Lunch? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! We all know shes put there to deter you from actually eating your lunch.. “If your too fat from eating lunch.. Skip it! Lose those unwanted pounds..” However I must say during oprah, there’s some awesome home shopping items.. So what if they are mostly for 1 of 2 things – Food preparation OR Inventions to make you loose weight.. Hrmm.. Me suspects they are in cahoots to keep the home shopping cash cow alive.. I cannot get over how young you look in your cereal pose.. “Me loves me bran – mummy says its good for me insides..” – BTW WHERES FARRAH! I thought the FARRAH look was coming back for an appearance.. Not happy..
James – I’m perfectly fine with endorsing a comment war between my readers.
Penguin – It was… until I was getting sprayed with red paint everywhere. I don’t own much that goes with red unfortunately. And yes, I’m just clearing out the last of the bran as I type.
Sh@key – I’m one of those people who can watch endless amounts of Motivational Television‚Ñ¢ and never actually make the psychological connection between the television person and me. I do, however, cry at even the sniff of sadness. As per the Farrah, I was about one week away from it when I had my hair cut, and I wanted to get it done prior to photos. It may be back in time for the show, though.