I had such plans for these two months in Berlin. Between exploring the city and learning what it's like to really live in Berlin, I was going to learn to speak german, work on my musical, develop multiple business ideas, refresh some of my personal web projects, and take some time to sit and think about what it is I want to be doing when these two months are over.
It's not hard to believe that I've fallen short of these aspirations. Perhaps I overloaded myself with goals, but even so my list of achievements has been low. I guess that's to be allowed since it is a holiday.
I've now had five solid, uninterrupted weeks in Berlin since getting back from Austria. Most days have consisted of sleeping in, doing a bit of work and then heading out into the city to explore. I've been making steady progress on a refresh of Repertwa, and trying to take time to think about what I wanted to be doing and where I wanted to be for the rest of the year.
As I'm turning 30 this year, it is my last chance to take advantage of the youth VISA to live in Berlin. These two months were to be a trial to see if that's something I wanted. It has really come as a surprise to me that it isn't. Berlin is certainly a fascinating place - full of history and progressive culture - but it doesn't seem like quite the right fit for me. I'm sure I could happily live here, but I'd miss a busy theatre scene, walking everywhere and having full feeling in my fingers. I see what excites other people about this city, but I also see what makes people move on.
I was still unsure until one night when, in full Mama Rose style, I had a dream. Amongst all of the usual confusing dream fragments, I was enjoying relaxing in slightly too warm weather in an apartment atop the Melbourne laneways. I put out a call to people to meet for coffee (or tea in my case, it wasn't a nightmare) in the bustling shops below. This felt like paradise. Certainly the warm weather enhanced that feeling. Immediately after this moment in the dream I awoke. I checked the clock and it was about 1am. I thought about my dream and how it felt, and realised: that is my life.
If I put any value in dreams, I would certainly believe this was my subconcious trying to make me aware of how good I have it in Melbourne, and how much I truly do love it there. After all, it is a city I chose to live in, it's not my first home.
Of course, I don't regret coming to Europe and staying in Berlin. It has been an amazing time of exploration of the city. It's something I love to do and has certainly been a good challenge at times, particularly with the language barrier. I have more to say about my Berlin experiences, and will when I get the chance.
Tomorrow I leave for London for a booster shot of theatre. I have a bit more travelling to do and will be in Australia in about a month.